Dearest
one, this is a new dawn and I invite you to step up and join the light!
One of my absolute favorite quotes, which I have resited many, many times
before in my blog or on social media, is Marianne Williamson’s “Our deepest fears
is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am
I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to
be?”
This quote has been on my mind quite a lot the last years as I have surely been
braking through layers of constrictions in my own story, shedding skins as I’m
taking on my role as teacher and leader in this time of change. Seeing my own
darkness and choosing the light over and over again. But it is not only me, but
I also see it reflected in my dear student’s that makes my work possible, and
this blogpost is my tribute to you!
Thank you so much for the year that has gone. If it were not for your bravery,
your questions and your willingness to expose your deepest fear, your dreams,
and your longings, I would have no business doing the work that I do. All my brilliance
depends upon your asking and we are indeed in the state of learning together. I’m
here to challenge you, hold your hand and cheer you on as you step into the light,
and it may look like this is something that I can do for you, but the truth is
that it is precisely the same thing you do for me. As your chosen teacher, I’m
merely walking the road half a step in front of you, and the light shines as
brilliantly through you as it does through me.
In the quote, Marianne says, “it is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.”
What does this mean? Here is how I experience it. For years I devoted my self
to understand my darkness. I turned every memory and every past pain to know
why my life had turned out the way it was. I developed a map of all my
dysfunctional patterns and I knew my pitfalls and my darkness in and out, but
even so, whenever triggered I did not know what to do and I fell into the same old
trap feeling even more powerless as I was awake and conscious about what was
happening but even so felt powerless to do something about it. I used the
knowledge of the “darkness in me” to stop my self from taking risks, from
falling in love or committing to business or intimate relationships. I held my
self back from interacting with others because I was afraid not to appear
perfect and in harmony. I had fallen into the trap of overanalyzing “my
darkness,” and instead of my spiritual healing journey empowering me, I was feeling
more and more stuck and powerless. There was something that I had not
understood, and this was not working for me the way it was supposed to.
I prayed
and asked my guides for help. I started listening to the voice inside and it
kept telling me to seek joy. To have more fun and to let go of hardship, struggle
and even serving others! What was this? I had learned that my purpose here on
earth was to serve! My whole existence was built around being of service to
others and it refected all of my life experience. I had grown weary of it; I was
tired and resentful and felt like there was never enough for me. It was like I
had tried to eradicate myself, my own needs and longing to be of service to the
world and I was not happy! Something had to be done! I could not go on like
this, and I had to change my way.
I started turning
to the light. I started the inner conversation that gradually, step by step,
guided me back to life’s natural unfolding. I started allowing my self the
benefit of the doubt and slowly started believing that it may be something good
inside of me when I just let myself be and relaxed as who I am. My pattern was
to look for and finde the trash, short through it and try to solve why there
was trash and why this particular peace had ended up in the trash. It kept me
going through the trash, and even if I sometimes found treasures I was mostly
just trapped in a world of trash, producing more trashy experiences. It was a tiring
and tedious process and I recognize it from so many of my students too. The belief
that there is something wrong with me that I have to fix before I’m worthy of
standing in the light. It may be the biggest flawed premiss of people who are
seeking for the answer in spirituality and therapy. I realized that there had
to be a different way! The truth is,
there is nothing wrong with you and you where born worthy. Stopp picking at the
trash and a new dawn is immediately upon you. All you need to do to shine is to
remain standing in the light. The light demands nothing; it merely reflects your
true essence.
For most of us, this simple truth seams too simplistic, but if you truly test
it with your logic against anything you will see that it is indisputable. Everything
you experience occurs within your awareness and nothing can exist outside of
that, therefore you hold all the power and you decide what occurs in the mirror
reflection of the light that shines through you. When you put your emphasis on
the shadow all you see is the shadow, when you put your emphasis on the light
all you see is light!
For most of us, we see a myriad of shades from dark to light and we see
different things in different areas of our life. It is easy to see the light in
some things and easy to see the darkness in others. We tend to like the light
reflected back, but dislike the darkness. We want to place the responsibility on
what feels painful outside of our selves, not only on other people that we think
are responsible but also on past experiences and current circumstances – and all
of this is used to keep us in a status quo. We linger someplace in the shadow
between the darkness and the light where we feel safe, never really stepping
into our true power but always holding it at a safe distance, dreaming of the
day we dear to shine!
Why not make that day today? Why not make that day every day from now on?
I have one challenge for my self and for you for the next moment, the next
year, a new year or a new moments challenge. New in every moment. Step into the
light! Stop trying to figure out what is wrong with you and instead realize
what is right with you! That you are “powerful beyond measures” and that you
don’t need anyone’s permission to shine. The thoughts you think today, of your
self and of others, the way you feel about you and about them, lay the ground
for your future and you can choose to make it a happy and prosperous one. All
you need to do is choose the light, over and over and over again until it becomes
your habit and your world begin to shine. The light is in you and it reflects accurately
and truthfully every time, when it shines on darkness there is no denying that
it is your shadow. But this is your cue to forgive and forget, to move on and
choose love for yourself and everyone around. This is the dawn, this is the
time to shine!
Happy new moment! Happy new year!
With love
Ingunn
Ps! Want to work with me on shing the light in 2020? Check out www.ingunntennbakk.com, or write to post@ingunntennbakk.com for one on
one sessions or workshops both in Norwegian and English.
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