I hate to admit it, but my creative juices always flow more freely when my heart is broken. My compassion and feeling awareness flourish, and I’m more inclined to be honest with my self in the healing phase. Insights and understanding that are valuable both to my work and my personal life come much easier to me, and my writing becomes more raw and vulnerable.
I used to see this vulnerability and openness as a treat. That I would lose “my dignity” if I admitted to the emotional pain of a broken heart. Like I was defeated in love somehow, and I better hide that “the other one won.” I still feel the pull to hide, but my pull to share and heal is bigger yet. The courage of my spirit has outgrown the small-mindedness of my ego that is afraid to show its “weakness.”
You see, to
the ego, admitting to feeling love and pain of heartbreak is considered weak,
but to the spirit, it is a great victory! The ego can not love. It disguises fear
as love and goes into a manipulative game of guilt and blame to keep “lovers”
together in the pain that it needs for its survival. To the ego, love means
death, and it will do anything to keep you from really feeling it because if
you understand the true essence of love, the ego must die.
I sometimes hear people saying that “you need a functional ego.” This being one of the biggest lies the ego can tell. There is no such thing as a functional ego because the ego is the part of us that is dysfunctional. That feeds on lies, deception, need, greed, and illusions. And in itself, it is an illusion; An illusion made by you to keep you away for m experience life in its fullness and true love.
Spirit, or who you really are, on the other hand, is love. It’s the mature, nurturing, compassionate, and openhearted loving part of you that can stand in the middle of a painful situation and still feel love. That can have lovers come and leave and still love long after they are gone. That knows how to forgive and to heal both the self and the other and knows that ultimately, there is no difference between you and me.
vision can see through any apparent situation and into the core of love. When
you ask for the help of this part of you, it will guide and heal you. It will
show you how to have compassion in any conflict, and how to overcome any heartache,
how to forgive yourself, how to forget all perceived wrongdoings and embrace in
love again. It will show you when to stay or when to move on, and all it asks
is that you take your time to listen to your deepest heart. Your own courage and
This does not mean that you can avoid feeling the pain of a broken heart, but rather to fully feel it and know that you still survived and found the hidden gems in the depth of your heart that is your true treasure.
As far as I know, this is the only way to open to deep love. The only way to heal your heartaches and reach back into that place where you feel alive, trusting, happy, and loved. Where you feel safe enough to risk your heart and know that if it breaks again, it breaks you into deeper love. It is what ultimately concurs the egos realm of pain and selfishness and break you into soulfulness.