A couple of nights ago I was present in a circle of women here in Oslo. The theme of this gathering was The Power of Visualization, and it was lead by a beautiful young woman who told her story about how she went from being paralyzed in one side of her body to, not only gaining full functionality but launching a career as a dancer.

Is she extraordinary? Yes and no. She does not possess any superpowers the rest of us do not. She has merely trained her self to break the consensus of being a victim.

She is extraordinary in the way that she has chosen to break the consensus, despite the universal collective though that would place her in the victim category. A victim of unfortunate circumstances at a young age, of an unexplainable disease that landed her in seemingly terrible conditions that may have most of us give up and sink into our misery. She could have resigned to getting by on crutches for the rest of her life, all the conditions to do so where there. Instead, she took charge of the only thing she could control; she decided to change her mind.

As human beings, we are totally programmable by our surroundings. We are born into a world that likes to tell us what to do and who we are. From the moment we are born into this reality the conditioning starts. You get a name, and identity and your parents dive directly into programming you to what they think you need to know and to be to survive in this world. This could be a wonderful thing except that this place is run, for the most part on the consensus of being a victim. It is socially acceptable to feel pain; it is not socially acceptable to feel pleasure, at least not after a certain age.

As women, we learn early to connect for our misery. We learn to share our hardships and our heartaches. We learn that tears will get us more kind and loving attention than laughter. Our laughter and aliveness often inspire irritation, uneasiness, jealousy and sometimes right out violence in words and actions from our surroundings. As a woman you are not supposed to laugh to high, to shine too bright or show to much joy. After all, you want to be taken seriously and not to draw unwanted (sexual) attention. You’re allowed to be sugar and spice and everything nice, but never outrageous – never over the top ecstatically happy, outrageously angry or devastatingly sad. Never fully flowing with your full emotional power, never expressing it all! After all, what would the world think? What would we do to a woman like that?

Well, history shows quite clearly that it has not been safe for women to be fully emotionally expressive. She has been frozen out of society, prosecuted and burned or drown, she has been stoned, socially shamed and her rights have been taken away. She has been silenced in every way possible, and this has left her angry. Raging at a world where everything she is allowed to be is pushed into the victim box. Since she is not permitted to shine her radiance and true power she has been forced into expressing her self in the only way that seems to be recognized in this world. Like a man.

She has learned how to be efficient, focused, out of touch with her body and her sensuality. She had to become dry and rigid and learn not to stir the boat with her feminine power. As a cost of this, she has become bitter. Victims become violent people, and most women are born into the consensus of victim mentality. So she has become violent. Not necessarily to the world around her (all though it often shines through in the way she treats the ones that close to her), but definitely to her self. She has taken on the voice of the victim consensus, and her internal voice is now convincing her that she is not good enough. She has become insecure, and without direction, she has lost connection to her real power; her radiance and her sensuality.

This world sees power as a hardened and masculine thing. But her superpower is love and radiance. Her superpower is breaking free from the consensus of victimhood and following her dream; however unobtainable it seems to the rest of the world. The world is not used to seeing powerful women like this, that is why we find her scary and find the need to minimize her power by labeling her with all our ways of diminishing her to an object instead of seeing her as the powerful being she really is. But, be aware world; she is coming on stronger and stronger and once her superpower is released nothing can stop her. A woman that has broken free of the victim consensus contains the real power to change the world.

Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed by reading this? Does it sound to much to take on? Relax, you don’t need to take action and go marching in the streets to access this power. This revolution starts the only place that counts, the only place where you hold any power; in your own mind.

So, I challenge you, sister. The next time you find your self judging a fellow sister for being more beautiful, younger, happier or more radiant than you, stop and ask our self: What does she have that I want? What qualities is it that she is displaying that I wish I possessed in my own life experience? What part of me does she mirror-reflect that I’m not yet fully loving and embracing? Dive deep; I’m sure it will lead to some interesting answers and some more interesting questions about what is going on in your mind. Remember, the only thing you can change is your mind, and the only one who can break the victim consensus is you!

You are wonderful, brilliant and amazing. Set your self free from the victim consensus and you will see what the part of the world that’s in its right mind sees; the brilliance of you!

Finding it hard to break the victim mentality and love your self? Train your mind and heart by loving someone else! Think about that pet, that child, that special place or thing that just make it easy for you to feel love. Hold your attention there for as long as you can. Braking the circle of victim pain is like physical exercise; you got to train your love muscle. Don’t give up! You can do it no matter your circumstance!

Need the support of your loving sister? Contact me: post@ingunntennbakk.com www.ingunntennbakk.com or find a loving sister network somewhere in your neighborhood or online. We are popping up all over the place and the strength of our love superpower is unstoppable so jump on board and be part of breaking the chain of pain!

– Ingunn Tennbakk